The 5 Texting Habits That Should Be Outlawed M23 Umchun60
You can say a lot about a person by how he/she texts, and in some particularly memorable occasions, I did say a lot of swear words about the person after we texted. With cybercrime being all the rage now, indecency in using Whatsapp or Messenger or Snapchat should definitely be criminalised. If you’re pissed off by some of your pals’ texting habits, tag and expose their crimes here! Crime I — The Flash Reply “My name is Barry Allen and I’m the fastest man alive.” Speedy replies are good, but when they pop up hardly a second after I hit that ‘send’ button, I start to suspect it’s Siri I’m talking to. If you want to have a taste of viva voce, grab your Barry Allen friends and text them about lectures. Mental exhaustion guaranteed. Crime II — The Sloth Reply “Hey, do u want lunch tmr?” (8:14pm 4/3) “Sounds gd, where to?” (2:48pm 5/3) Crime III — The Gibberish Reply The dudes in universities here are all linguistic prodigies — from Chinese and English they managed to create an abominable hybrid best summarised as Chinglish-Run-Amok. “Man, look at all those drug names in the ppt!” “ngo lum gwo bui m bui ho…” “…” “sik si la m lei ngo…” No doubt this is a touchy issue, and many are probably getting butthurt from this. However, on the plus side, if we keep on using this freakish language, we may one day take home a UNESCO Intangible Cultural Heritage. Crime IV — The Grammar Police Reply “To serve and correct” is the motto. Not only do they text in such perfect grammar that it reminds you of your balding high school English teacher, they take every word of yours like a proofreading exercise. “Bro, me n Josh r hanging out tnt, wanna join” “It is ‘Josh and I’. Also, you miss the conjunction and the question mark.” “Your right, n your no longer invited.” “You are…” Crime V — The Abbr. Re. I never get the hang of the abbreviations, especially when typing them takes longer than the original forms. (GR8 for great? Look at all the fuss about switching the keyboard to numerics) I secretly suspect that the dudes who use excessive short forms must have watched too many WWII documentaries and decided to develop their own coding system. LOL = “Loads of love/lies”? TTYL = “To thrash/terminate you later”? KK = Why don’t you add one more K and move to the States? AWSE = Looks a lot like another word to me

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