Forbidden Foods 4 Your Own Sake --M23 Libby Doe
If you wish to obtain immunity from the pandemic Valentine's syndrome, here are four of the devil's nibbles that you must avoid at all cost. Vanilla ~ Don’t be fooled by their angelical white orchids that radiate innocence and purity, often displayed on ice cream packaging. Their true satanic powers lie within the pods of the plant, which contain a dark and rich ‘caviar’ that is so headily aromatic. Modern studies have shown that Vanilla increases catecholamine levels and thus adrenaline production, inevitably leading to the enhancement of sexual propensities. However, Vanilla has infiltrated human civilisation long before science could prove its guilt. European doctors have been prescribing Vanilla tinctures to improve male potency since the 16th Century. It was also believed that the consumption of vanilla-flavoured drinks was the reason for Aztec Emperor Montezuma’s promiscuous behaviours—he enjoyed a whopping number of 4000 concubines! Thus the lesson to be taken away is: Never judge a plant by its pedals. Chilli ~ Lay off the spice! Capsaicin is the chemical compound that generates heat in chili peppers. It stimulates the heat and nociceptive (pain) receptors on your tongue as well as encourages the release of endorphins, which is the body’s natural response for pain suppression. As you can imagine, for S/M couples this same ingredient that would leave them hot and sweaty at the dining table could also ‘spice’ things up to end the night. The aphrodisiac property of chili is so potent that in the 1970s, the Peruvian government even went to great lengths to ban chili sauce from prisons, declaring the substance to be inappropriate for ‘men forced to live a limited lifestyle’. I wonder if there were specific incidents to precipitate said legal action. Banana ~ With its suggestive and shapely body, a banana is no doubt THE quintessential aphrodisiac. Its infamous reputation extends beyond culture and religion. In India, it is traditional to include banana as offering to the fertility gods and in Islamic culture, the banana, not the apple, is referred to as the fruit of the Garden of Eden. The skin is not the only ‘slippery’ element when it comes to this bizarre fruit. Bananas are packed with vitamins and minerals, especially potassium and vitamin B, which are essential for the production of sex hormones. Besides, have you seen the many fascinating ways to ‘eat’ a banana? That, my friends, is a very ‘slippery’ slope. Chocolate ~ Concocted from cocoa, this guilty pleasure has ‘melted’ millions of hearts and has introduced numerous souls to the world of bittersweetness. Its strong association with romance and desire can be ascribed to the chemical compound phenylethylamine (PEA), a stimulus of the pleasure centres by increasing dopamine levels. The abundance amount of tryptophan in chocolate also increases serotonin levels, a hormone involved in sexual arousal. Thus a box of Valentine’s Day chocolate is the perfect bait to lure a prey into your trap. Realising its powerful effects on sexual desires, the Aztecs forbid women from drinking chocolate. Apart from feeling the need to voice out against this gender inequality, this ‘morsel’ of history does beg the question of whether or not the FDA should issue warnings on food labels of chocolate products—’Caution: Potent Aphrodisiac. PG-18.’ P.s. It is advisable to take a cold shower after reading this. (The effectiveness will increase by 99%.)

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